Anyone who has visited a doctor’s office has experienced the informal approach used by many medical staff and the less than positive reaction that approach often evokes. To begin with, you are sitting in a waiting room, which is likely the last place in the world that you want to be. You are surrounded by people, some of whom are coughing and sneezing, making you wonder just what sorts of diseases and infections you might pick up while you wait to see the doctor. And then some technician peeks around the corner, calls your first name, walks you to the scale, tells you to jump on, and asks, “So how are we doing, dear?”

 

Every single time I have a desire to respond, “I hate being here. My appointment was for 2:00 p.m. It’s already 2:15 p.m., and I still haven’t seen the doctor. And by the way, I’ve never met you before. How about calling me ‘Ms. Crane’ until we agree to move to a first name basis?”

 

It turns out addressing people using those informal “dears,” “sweeties,” and “hons,” is not only insulting, it may actually be harmful. A study conducted by the University Of Kansas School Of Nursing observed interactions between staff and 20 residents of a nursing home. The study found that when nurses used phrases like “good girl” or “How are we feeling?” patients became more aggressive and less cooperative and receptive to care.

 

This is speculation on my part, but I suspect the study’s results may be applicable in any work setting. Clients and customers visiting professional services providers or stores also wish to be addressed with respect. They do not wish to be “talked down to.” While addressing clients using the social title of “Ms.” Or “Mr.” may seem formal, it does carry with it the advantage of communicating respect for that person.