Things You Need to Know

Business Etiquette

Entitled

January 23, 2008

During a client breakfast meeting last Friday, I asked my male guest, “Why is it that everyone refers to ‘Obama’ or ‘Edwards’ or ‘Giuliani,’ but when it comes to Senator Clinton, all we hear is ‘Hillary’?” My dining companion opined that we use Senator’s Clinton’s first name because we knew her initially as a Lady First. And admittedly, for years now, surely since the times of Jackie and Lady Bird, as a country, we have been spoken in very familiar terms about our First Ladies.

I am afraid, however, that in the case of Senator Clinton something else is afoot. Especially with regards to the media, I am concerned that the use of Mrs. Clinton’s first name is an unconscious effort to minimize who she is and what she has accomplished professionally. In fact, one MSNBC pundit has even hypothesized that Mrs. Clinton owes her political success to a sympathy vote related to her husband’s illicit relationship with a White House intern. What’s up with that? With one sentence Chris Matthews attempted to erase seven years of what nearly everyone has described as Senator Clinton’s quiet, focused Capitol Hill work.

Is this sexism at its worse? Is it merely yet another difference in the way in which men and women communicate? I’m not sure. I do know that there is an easy way to put an end to any questions regarding possible motives.

Not all that long ago, whenever someone had earned or received a “title,” they were called by that title and the title remained with them even after they left a particular office. So, for example, when someone was asked to serve as the Ambassador to the Court of St. James, immediately everyone addressed that person as “Ambassador” and continued to do so throughout the remainder of the Ambassador’s life.

Members of the media, in fact, all of us in our public discourse can communicate fairness by addressing candidates using their titles. Stating “Senator Obama,” “Senator Edwards,” “Mayor Giuliani,” and “Senator Clinton” recognizes the professional accomplishments of each. Yes, it may sound a little stiff and formal. It definitely sounds fair.

Reintroducing a small bit for formality might also be helpful in many workplaces. Once, office workers frequently spoke to each other using “Mr.,” “Mrs.,” and “Miss.” Now, first names are bandied about from the get go. We would do well to remember that addressing someone as “Mr.” or “Ms.” communicates a level of respect that surely we owe each other.