Dining Around the World
Of all the programs I deliver, I enjoy none more than my facilitated business etiquette dinners. I usually begin by telling participants--generally people who are about to start work as interns, summer associates or new hires--that our goals for the meal do not include embarrassing anyone. Rather our intent is to place program attendees in a real life dining setting where questions inevitably emerge. (Where do I place an empty sugar packet? Once I’ve finished a course, where do I place my knife and fork? What if I don’t like the food I’ve been served?) I spend the program gathering participants’ questions. Then, when wait staff switches courses, I share those questions and relevant answers with the larger audience.
Inevitably, one of the questions I receive is whether diners should “clean their plates.” The correct answer is: It depends. If you eat at my home and clean your plate, you’ve given me a great compliment. Effectively, you’ve indicated that I created a meal that you truly enjoyed. However, the diner who cleans his or her plate in China communicates to the host or hostess that they have failed to provide adequate food.
Recently, the folks at Budget Travel provided some additional dining etiquette rules for those of us who engage in international travel, including:
In Thailand, don't put food in your mouth with a fork.
Instead, when eating a dish with cooked rice, use your fork only to push food onto your spoon. A few exceptions: Some northern and northeastern Thai dishes are typically eaten with the hands -- you'll know you've encountered such a dish if the rice used is glutinous or "sticky". Also, stand-alone items that are not part of a rice-based meal may be eaten with a fork. But, says Leela Punyaratabandhu, a food writer who blogs at SheSimmers.com, the worst thing to do at a traditional, rice-based meal would be to use chopsticks. "That is awkward and inconvenient at best and tacky at worst," she says.
In Japan, never stick your chopsticks upright in your rice.
Between bites, your chopsticks should be placed together right in front of you, parallel to the edge of the table -- and nowhere else, says Mineko Takane Moreno, Japanese cooking instructor and co-author of "Sushi for Dummies." (If there is a chopsticks rest, you use it, putting the tips you've been eating with on the rest.) But sticking them upright in a bowl of rice is even worse: During funerals in Japan, the rice bowl of the deceased is placed before their coffin...with their chopsticks upright in the rice. So what would she rather see: Someone doing that at a meal, or asking for a fork? Mineko doesn't hesitate. "Asking for a fork," she says.
In the Middle East, India and parts of Africa, don't eat with your left hand.
In South India, you shouldn't even touch the plate with your left hand while eating. That's largely because the left hand is associated with, um, bodily functions, so it's considered to be dirty. In fact, says Allen, don't even pass important documents with your left hand. A lefty? Then it's okay to use your left hand -- as long as you take your right hand out of the game.
In Mexico, never eat tacos with a fork and knife.
Worried about spilling refried beans and salsa all over your front? Tough. Mexicans think that eating tacos with a fork and knife looks silly and, worse, snobby -- kind of like eating a burger with silverware. So be polite: Eat with your hands.
In Italy, only drink a cappuccino before noon.
Some Italians say that a late-day cappuccino upsets your stomach, others that it's a replacement for a meal (it's common to have just a cappuccino, or a cappuccino and a croissant, for breakfast). Either way, you won't see Italians ordering one in a café at 3pm -- and certainly not after a big dinner. Do so, and you'll be instantly branded a tourist. If you need that coffee fix, though, an espresso is fine.
In Britain, always pass the port to the left -- and remember the Bishop of Norwich.
It's unclear why passing port on the left is so important; some say it has to do with naval tradition (the port side of a boat is on your left if you're facing the helm). Regardless, passing the decanter to the right is a big gaffe. So is not passing it at all. If you're at a meal and the decanter stalls, then ask the person with it, "Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?" If they say they don't know him, reply, "He's a very good chap, but he always forgets to pass the port." It sounds weird, but it's true. This is such a nationwide tradition, the Telegraph wrote an article on it.
In France, don't eat your bread as an appetizer before the meal.
Instead, eat it as an accompaniment to your food or, especially, to the cheese course at the end of the meal. That said, one thing that would be a faux pas anywhere else -- placing bread directly on the table and not on a plate -- is perfectly acceptable in France -- in fact, it's preferred.
Don't eat anything, even fries, with your hands at a meal in Chile.
Manners here are a little more formal than many other South American countries. So while it might be the most practical to just pick up those fries with your fingers, don't do it. "The greater need is to identify with European culture, so food is [eaten] with a knife and a fork," Allen says.
Never mix -- or turn down -- vodka in Russia.
The beverage is always drunk neat -- and no, not even with ice. Adding anything is seen as polluting the drink's purity (unless the mixer is beer, which produces a formidable beverage known as yorsh). But there's another faux pas that's even worse, says Allen: when you're offered the drink and you turn it down. Since offering someone a drink is a sign of trust and friendship, it's a good idea to take it. Even if it is 9am.
When drinking coffee with Bedouins in the Middle East, shake the cup at the end.
Typically, anyone Bedouin -- or Bedouin-related -- will continue to pour you more coffee once you've finished unless you shake the cup, meaning tilting the cup two or three times, when you hand it back. It's such an important tip, says Middle East-based freelance correspondent Haley Sweetland Edwards, that last year, Bedouins she was eating with in Qatar made her practice it until she got it right.
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