A few hours after I post this blog, Punxatawney Phil will emerge from his winter home and reveal whether spring 2012 will arrive right on time or six weeks late. I've enjoyed an unusually mild January, and the first of February promises the same. Nonetheless, I still hope Phil predicts an early end to winter. Spring is the one season that should never arrive fashionably late.

All of which got me to thinking about the etiquette of arriving for an event. Is it ever appropriate to arrive for an event early? And how late can one run without risking offense.

Follow the rules listed below, and you’ll avoid upsetting anyone:

1. For a wedding ceremony, arrive 15 minutes early.
2. For a funeral or memorial service, arrive on time.
3. For a business meeting or work appointment, arrive a little early or just on time.
   
4. If you’re meeting someone for a movie, arrive at least five minutes early. Arrive even earlier, if you anticipate a long wait at the ticket booth.
5. If you’re meeting friends or family at a restaurant, arrive on time. Remember, many restaurants won’t seat a party until everyone is present.
   
6. If you’re going to be more than five minutes late, call the person with whom you will be meeting or dining. If you can’t reach them, call their office or the restaurant.

If you have been invited to dine in someone’s home—especially when dinner is to be preceded by cocktails—you may arrive “fashionably late,” that’s 10 or 15 minutes after the time stated on the invitation. However, do be aware that if children are expected to participate in the meal, their dining schedule may determine when people sit down.

Earlier this month, a New York Philharmonic audience member disrupted a performance of Mahler’s Ninth Symphony when his iPhone rang. At first, Conductor Alan Gilbert attempted to ignore the “marimba” ring tone. However, after it persisted, the conductor halted the performance until the ringing ceased.

A few days after the event, the New York Times offered the patron’s side of the story. A serious fan of the Philharmonic, he reported that he had just obtained the iPhone and had turned it off before the performance began. Unfortunately, he had unknowingly set the phone’s alarm. It was that alarm that rang and disturbed the performance.

Before you attend a performance, follow these rules of cell phone etiquette:

When the house lights are dimmed, turn your phone to vibrate. Actually, I’d prefer you turn your cell phone off. However, if you’re expecting an emergency message, make sure you’ll be notified via a vibrating phone instead of a ring. And by the way, make sure the alarm has been turned off.

If your cell phone does make a noise, silence it immediately. Please don’t make performers or an audience suffer through multiple rings.

Don’t text or tweet during the performance. Unless the performance venue offers tweet seats, avoid distracting others by fiddling with your smart phone.

If you receive an emergency message, leave the theater before you respond.

Just a little bit of stress can really affect every day people and their manners. I see this all the time in airports. As soon as an airline delays or cancels a flight, a group of calmly waiting passengers quite suddenly changes into an unruly mob with individuals exhibiting behaviors they would never have contemplated minutes earlier.

I recall, in particular, a delay announcement made one evening in San Francisco’s airport. A passenger began to scream at a gate agent, “You’ve got to get me out of here tonight!” The delay was due to fog. There was absolutely nothing the gate agent could do about it.

I find I tackle stress best by engaging in physical activity. A good long walk helps a little. A hard run or swim can be transformative. When everything seems out of my hands, I know that I can control the number of laps I swim or the light posts I pass on a run.

The next time stress makes you feel like you’re about to burst, try to step away and engage in a little physical exertion. With luck, that exercise will release a few endorphins and thereby help you address the stress event quietly and calmly.    

Before I head out on one of my road-trips, I sit down and speculate what could possibly go wrong on my trip and, if some minor catastrophe does occur, what are my work-arounds: If a flight attendant spills coffee on my suit, do I have a back-up outfit? If a flight is delayed, do I have all the materials I need to complete a project while I wait? If a client needs to delay the start time for my presentation, do I know when alternative flights depart?

Because emergencies can happen anywhere, including the office where you work each day, smart professionals create an “office emergency preparedness kit,” which should include the following:

Just-in-case suit/outfit – A business conservative outfit that you can slip into if the boss suddenly invites you to a client meeting.

Over the counter meds – This time of year, be safe and keep some over-the-counter flu and cold medicine nearby.

Extra toiletries – Stash away some dental floss, a toothbrush and toothpaste. Also keep a comb nearby as well as a lint brush. 

Note cards – Use these to dash off quick thank you or congratulatory notes.

Umbrella 

Non-perishable snacks – When you unexpectedly need to work late into the night, small packages of nuts and dried fruit can be a lifesaver. 

Emergencies can be easily handled if you prepare for them. Set aside some time this week and create your own kit.

With this year’s holiday season quickly drawing to a close, we all know that we’re supposed to pull out paper and pen and write thank you notes for the gifts we have received. If you haven’t already done so, a Los Angeles superior court judge may provide you with an extra reason to do so today.

Several years ago, John Kralik—then a lawyer, now a judge—thought his life had reached bottom. His legal practice was teetering; he had been divorced not once but twice; relationships with his three children were strained. During the course of a New Years Day walk he challenged himself to write a thank you note a day for a full year.

Kralik has written about his experience in 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Gratitude Changed My Life. According to Kralik, the experience taught him to appreciate others and their actions. As he became more grateful, more great things occurred. “If I was thankful for clients paying their bills, they seemed to pay faster. If I was thankful for cases, they seemed to come more.”

Whenever you set out to write a thank you note or express your gratitude, keep the following in mind:

1.      Thank you notes are the perfect example of high touch beating out high tech. A handwritten note places a piece of you in the presence of the recipient.

2.      Keep the note short and simple. You only need to write one or two sentences describing the importance of the gift to you.

3.      If the gift isn’t right, please don’t ask for a receipt so that you can exchange it. Every gift possesses inherent value. If you can’t use it, donate it to someone who can.

If you haven’t yet written your thank you notes, don’t delay.  Start today, and remember, with every note you write, the easier it will become to write another. 

With my 2012 work world slowly but surely winding down, I took some time off this past weekend and stole away to see “The Artist.” The mostly silent film tells the story of George Valentin, a Hollywood silent screen star brought down by the emergence of talkies. The film has been crowned “best picture” by the New York Film Critics Circle and the Washington Area Film Critics Association.

If and when the film comes to a movie theater near you—it has not been widely distributed—see it. I suspect that like me you will enjoy the film’s storyline and acting. However, what will really capture your attention is the magic of silence. In a world filled with the sound and the fury of day-to-day special effects, quiet now has the ability to capture and hold our attention.

Over the next several weeks, I will set aside some time to review the past year and plan for the next. Looking forward, I plan to build a little more quiet into each one of my days. I urge you to do the same. You will reap unimagined benefits.

For now, that’s all from Mary Crane & Associates in 2011. Happy holidays! Let’s reconnect in the New Year!

Let’s face it, every once in awhile, someone gives us some item for which we have absolutely no use. It could be the book we’d never purchase or the knickknack that doesn’t fit into our home décor.

Though terribly wasteful and certainly not environmentally friendly, tossing such gifts is one option. Donating them to a local charity or thrift shop might be another. For lots of us, however, regifting that item to someone who might appreciate and use it is our preferred option.

Before you regift, keep the following in mind:

Avoid regifting within the same circle. If you receive a gift from someone at work, you may regift that item to a member of your family. If you receive a gift from a family member, you may regift that item to a friend or neighbor.

Regift only what someone will treasure. Please do not regift the Omaha steaks that your sister sends every year to a declared vegan. And do not regift the latest Neil Diamond cd your neighbor gave you to a co-worker who only listens to rap.

Before you regift, rewrap. Remove any wrapping paper, bows or tags affixed by the previous giver. Start from scratch making your regift look unique and beautiful.

And don’t forget, regifting does not release you from the obligation to thank the original gift-giver for their kind thoughts and effort.

For those of us who are not extroverts, the holiday office party poses yet another challenging hurdle. However, this annual event need not trip up your career. In fact, with a little bit of preparation, you can use this year’s holiday get-together to your professional advantage.

Here’s how:

Prepare. In the days leading up to the event, think of a handful of questions that you can ask virtually anyone. (What are your plans for the holidays? Have you ever attended an event at this venue before? What’s your favorite holiday tradition?) Use these questions to initiate conversations with other party attendees. Also, on the day of the event, before you head to the party, eat a substantive snack or a small meal. Avoid arriving with an empty stomach.

Arrive. To the extent possible, arrive “on time.” By that, I don’t mean “on the dot.” If the invitation indicates the party starts at 7:00 p.m., aim to arrive between 7:15 and 7:30 p.m. When you do arrive, immediately find your boss and thank him or her for the invitation. Then, head to the bar and obtain a beverage (alcoholic or non-alcoholic). Holding a beverage at waist-level will make you appear more approachable.

Mingle. Find your boss and all your co-workers and wish them a happy holiday. Congratulate others on their achievements of the past year. Above all do not use this event to complain about work projects, fellow workers, or your salary.

Enjoy. Feel free to enjoy the food and drink offered a your holiday party. However, do NOT over-imbibe. To be blunt: Becoming drunk at your office party may shorten your career. Also, at any one time, hold either a small plate of food OR a beverage in your left hand. Constantly keep your right hand free to shake others’ hands.

Depart. Once you have spoken to your boss and co-workers, you may leave. If you wish to mingle longer, make the most of this opportunity to connect with people in other departments and possible client-guests. Avoid being the last to leave.

View this year’s office party as an opportunity to demonstrate to your boss and others that you can successfully manage business situations in a social environment.

And may all your holiday parties be merry and bright!

This is the time of year in which we pause to think of all the things for which we should be grateful. I feel particularly blessed.

I am thankful that the likelihood of a double-dip recession continues to recede. Yes, everyone continues to worry about the European debt crises. But most indexes indicate the U.S. economy is gathering some strength and could pick-up speed this winter.

I am so very thankful for each and every one of my clients. They challenge and inspire me and continue to amaze me.

I am grateful for my small business colleagues who have served as a support group throughout the recession. We’ve joked that we’ve made it through the downturn in better shape that Ford or Goldman Sachs—we didn’t need bailouts, and that was a darn good thing. We weren’t going to get one anyway.

I am grateful for my past—all the people and experiences I have known and encountered—that propelled me to this point. And I am grateful for a future, one that will lead to who knows where but one which I suspect will never be boring.