Dining with Co-workers – When you and five of your fellow interns agree to lunch at the trendy little taqueria right around the corner, immediately plan that you will pay 1/6^th of the total bill. This rule applies even if you eat only one fish taco while everyone else gorges on chips and guacamole before eating their enchiladas and burritos. Instead of attempting to calculate the actual cost of your small meal, add 20% to the total bill (for a tip) and divide by 6. That’s the amount that you should pay.

If you can’t afford to subsidize others’ meals, opt out of some of the group lunches and bring your lunch to work. Just realize that these meals can play an important role as you begin to build your professional network. Attend every one that you can afford.  

Intelligence Gathering – When a summer associate in a law firm’s mergers and acquisitions department wants to know more about prospects for growth in the intellectual property group, she may ask a mid-level IP lawyer to lunch. In this case, the summer associate should plan on paying for both meals. Remember, the general rule is: Whoever extends an invitation to lunch is responsible for picking up the tab.

If the mid-lawyer insists on paying for the meal, and many will, the summer associate should immediately acquiesce.

Boss’s Treat – When a boss or direct supervisor extends an invitation to lunch, the invitee may safely anticipate that the boss will pick up the tab. 

There are exceptions to these rules. For example, often an intern may ask someone highly placed in the organization to lunch for the purpose of building a relationship or exploring future possibilities. Where the more highly ranked person clearly earns significantly more money than the intern, because he or she requested the lunch, the intern should still offer to pick up the tab. However, in such a case, the more senior person should insist that he or she cover the bill. Once that is stated, the more junior person should honor those wishes.

No matter who pays the bill, don’t forget to be grateful for the company of your co-workers and their willingness to share or pick up the tab.

Another Amtrak passenger and I sat across each other last Thursday, training from NYC to Washington D.C.  Quickly, we introduced ourselves.  Then, we put our heads down and began to knock out some work.

Somewhere in NJ, another passenger joined us at our club car table. This newest rider promptly pulled out a kit and started to make-up her face. And I’m not talking about drawing on a little lipstick. She began with foundation; followed that by applying all sorts of eye shadow, eye liner and mascara; and ended with a quick brush of blush and a dab of lip gloss. 

While she worked away, the other passenger and I continued tapping away on our laptop keyboards. A couple of times, we looked up, our eyes connecting in a manner that communicated, “Can you believe this?” But neither of us said a word.

Now, fully ready for her workday, somewhere in DE, the third member of our table detrained. At that point, my traveling companion said, “So you’re the etiquette expert. What did you think about that?” 

I shrugged my shoulders and replied: A train’s club car is no place for a lady to apply her make-up. Just as we would expect a gentleman to step in the lavatory to shave, a lady should undertake this very private activity in private. She may freshen her lipstick in public.  And she may wipe away mascara smudges in a group. But when it comes to painting on foundation or crimping eye lashes, a lady really should excuse herself and head to a private mirror.

Of course, it would have been completely inappropriate for either of us to say this to our traveling companion. We could have moved to another table, but neither of us had any business openly criticizing her behavior.

With a national unemployment rate hovering above 8%, young people must get their feet inside employers’ doors. Summer internships can be educational and fun. They can also lead to a job. According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, businesses converted about 60% of the Class of 2011 interns into full-time hires, a record high.

Interns can show they are ready for the world of work by following these rules:

Do a First Day dry run. It’s absolutely critical that interns arrive at their internship on time every day and especially on the first day of work. If necessary, arrive a little early and walk around the block. Never arrive late. Before the first day of your internship, take public transportation, walk or drive from wherever you live to the location of your internship. Determine how much time you must set aside to move from Point A to Point B.

Dress appropriately. Even where an employer specifies business casual attire, your clothes should be office-appropriate, neat and clean. They should never be torn, tattered or sexually provocative. Leave your jeans, tee shirts and party clothes at home. Shoes should be comfortable and, if leather, they should be shined. Don’t wear sneakers or flip-flops to work. Check your clothes the night before and confirm they are clean, pressed and don’t need mending.  

Carry a small pad of paper and pen throughout the workday. Use it to write down assignments you are given, names of people you are asked to contact, phone numbers, e-mail addresses and other important information. Each morning, before your workday begins, create a to-do list of what you need to accomplish that day. Cross off items as you complete them. Make a new list the next morning.

Treat everyone you encounter in the workplace respectfully and professionally. No matter how brilliant you are, assume others know more than you do. Support staff can help succeed. They can also withhold their assistance and let you fail. Give them every reason to want to help you. Ask lots of questions. If someone gives you an assignment, make certain you understand it. Don’t be afraid to repeat it back to them: “You want me to . . . .” Be curious, ask questions and learn all you can.

Know basic table manners. Interns are often invited to lunch and sometimes dinner. After you scan the menu, avoid ordering the most and least expensive items. Match the number of courses your host or hostess orders. If they order an appetizer and entrée, you should, too. If they order an entrée only, no matter how hungry you are, you should order just an entrée, too. Avoid ordering any menu item that is messy to eat or that you don’t know how to eat. Treat wait staff with respect.  

Recently, I’ve seen any number of on-line postings predicting the end of e-mail. Lots of studies predict that future workers will quit e-mail and instead turn to texting, tweeting and other social media to share important information. Interestingly, according to at least one survey, teens disregard assertions regarding the potential demise of e-mail mostly because it is so ubiquitous in the business world. However, ask those same teens what their e-mail address is and you’ll likely find they don’t remember it. Why? They so rarely use it.

I’ve come across one web site that devotes itself exclusively to e-mail etiquette.  www.Emailreplies.com offers useful advice about appropriate procedures and ways to get answers to your questions, including these:

1. Use proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.
2. Use the “cc:” field sparingly.
3. Make one point per e-mail.  If you have more than one point, send separate e-mails.
4. Watch your tone. Make sure no one can misinterpret any of your language.
5. Never forward chain e-mails.

With all the attention Facebook and Twitter receive, it’s hard to keep in mind the value of face-to-face connections. However, some recent developments in the tech sector prove that old-fashioned networking still pays off . . . hugely.

Last week Saturday, the New York Times reported on the behind-the scenes history of Instagram, a photo-sharing iPhone application recently purchased by Facebook for $1 billion. It turns out that when Instagram’s creators first released their app, it garnered immediate attention. Within hours, thousands downloaded the app, causing its supporting computer systems to crash.

Knowing this problem needed a quick resolution, one of Instagram’s founders, Kevin Systrom, scrolled through his phone in search of “the smartest person I know.” He found Adam D.Angelo, a former chief technology officer at Facebook, who walked the creators through a process to get their computer systems up and running again. It can fairly be said that D’Angelo helped transformed Instragram’s creators into the multi-millionaires they are today.

And how did Mr. D’Angelo’s name land on Systrom’s list of contacts? The two had met at a party seven years earlier, over beers in red plastic cups, at a Stanford University fraternity party.

Instagram’s success is proof positive that in our high tech world personal connections are as important as ever. While friending and linking up are so au courrant, Instagram's history proves that face-to-face connections remain invaluable. 

Last week was filled with a certain amount of craziness. Throughout the year's first quarter, I had been on non-stop business travel. As a result, I had all sorts of loose ends to tie up. I also needed to travel back and forth for a TV interview with the nice folks at “Let’s Talk Live” down in Washington, D.C. And, before the week ended, I needed to fully complete the development of a brand new program.

All of which is to say that I didn’t have loads of time to engage in one of my favorite activities: A leisurely read of the New York Times. However, while rushing through last week’s Science section, one article grabbed my attention, and it’s one that I think every professional should at least be aware.

The article, “Mind Games: Sometimes a White Coat Isn’t Just a White Coat,” (NYT, 04/03/12, page D3) by Sandra Blakeslee reports on a growing scientific field called embodied cognition. According to Adam D. Galinsky, a professor at the Kellog School of Management at Northwestern University, we humans think not just with our brains but with our bodies, too. Our thought processes are based on a set of physical experiences that set off associated abstract concepts. Among the physical experiences that affect us is pulling on certain clothes.

Galinsky has reported on a series of experiments he’s undertaken involving students who were randomly assigned to put on a white doctor’s coat or street clothes. Participants who donned the doctor’s uniform made fewer errors on incongruent trials, showed enhanced sustained attention and acquired heightened attention.  “Clothes invade the body and brain,” Blakeslee writes of Galinsky’s research, “putting the wearer into a different psychological state.”

In my business etiquette presentations to law schools and business schools alike, I frequently address the issue of dressing professionally. Galinsky’s research suggests that lots of young professionals might benefit from ignoring the permission they’ve received to go business casual, and instead, they should wear more business conservative attire to work. Wearing a suit just may improve performance.

If former Reagan speechwriter Peggy Noonan and I ever found ourselves sitting across a table from each other talking politics, I suspect we would disagree on virtually every issue that has earned a national headline. Until last Friday, that is, when Ms. Noonan added her two cents about the “war on women” that has emerged in recent months.

Before another moment passes, please read Noonan’s column published last week by the Wall Street Journal: http://online.wsj.com/article/declarations.html

Many of us already have reached Noonan’s conclusion—Her expressed belief that the Internet and its inherent anonymity have coarsened our national discourse. She worries about a future that may become even rougher rhetorically. Me? I’m worried about our conversations right now.

C’mon folks. Let’s manner up. Together, we can immediately change the tone of our national conversation. Each and every one of us chooses the words we use. Let’s hold ourselves as well as our fellow conversationalists to the highest standard possible.

Of all the programs I deliver, I enjoy none more than my facilitated etiquette dinners. I usually begin by telling participants that our goals for the meal do not include embarrassing anyone. Rather our intent is to place program attendees in a real life dining setting where questions inevitably emerge. (Where do I place an empty sugar packet? Once I’ve finished a course, where do I place my knife and fork? What if I don’t like the food I’ve been served?) I spend the program gathering participants’ questions. Then, when wait staff switches courses, I share those questions and relevant answers with the larger audience.

Inevitably, one of the questions I receive is whether diners should “clean their plates.” The correct answer is: It depends. If you eat at my home and clean your plate, you’ve given me a great compliment. Effectively, you’ve indicated that I created a meal that you truly enjoyed. However, the diner who cleans his or her plate in China communicates to the host or hostess that they have failed to provide adequate food.  

Recently, the folks at Budget Travel provided some additional dining etiquette rules for those of us who engage in international travel, including:

In Thailand, don't put food in your mouth with a fork.

Instead, when eating a dish with cooked rice, use your fork only to push food onto your spoon. A few exceptions: Some northern and northeastern Thai dishes are typically eaten with the hands -- you'll know you've encountered such a dish if the rice used is glutinous or "sticky". Also, stand-alone items that are not part of a rice-based meal may be eaten with a fork. But, says Leela Punyaratabandhu, a food writer who blogs at SheSimmers.com, the worst thing to do at a traditional, rice-based meal would be to use chopsticks. "That is awkward and inconvenient at best and tacky at worst," she says.

In Japan, never stick your chopsticks upright in your rice.

Between bites, your chopsticks should be placed together right in front of you, parallel to the edge of the table -- and nowhere else, says Mineko Takane Moreno, Japanese cooking instructor and co-author of "Sushi for Dummies." (If there is a chopsticks rest, you use it, putting the tips you've been eating with on the rest.) But sticking them upright in a bowl of rice is even worse: During funerals in Japan, the rice bowl of the deceased is placed before their coffin...with their chopsticks upright in the rice. So what would she rather see: Someone doing that at a meal, or asking for a fork? Mineko doesn't hesitate. "Asking for a fork," she says.

In the Middle East, India and parts of Africa, don't eat with your left hand.

In South India, you shouldn't even touch the plate with your left hand while eating. That's largely because the left hand is associated with, um, bodily functions, so it's considered to be dirty. In fact, says Allen, don't even pass important documents with your left hand. A lefty? Then it's okay to use your left hand -- as long as you take your right hand out of the game.

In Mexico, never eat tacos with a fork and knife.

Worried about spilling refried beans and salsa all over your front? Tough. Mexicans think that eating tacos with a fork and knife looks silly and, worse, snobby -- kind of like eating a burger with silverware. So be polite: Eat with your hands.

In Italy, only drink a cappuccino before noon.

Some Italians say that a late-day cappuccino upsets your stomach, others that it's a replacement for a meal (it's common to have just a cappuccino, or a cappuccino and a croissant, for breakfast). Either way, you won't see Italians ordering one in a café at 3pm -- and certainly not after a big dinner. Do so, and you'll be instantly branded a tourist. If you need that coffee fix, though, an espresso is fine.

In Britain, always pass the port to the left -- and remember the Bishop of Norwich.

It's unclear why passing port on the left is so important; some say it has to do with naval tradition (the port side of a boat is on your left if you're facing the helm). Regardless, passing the decanter to the right is a big gaffe. So is not passing it at all. If you're at a meal and the decanter stalls, then ask the person with it, "Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?" If they say they don't know him, reply, "He's a very good chap, but he always forgets to pass the port." It sounds weird, but it's true. This is such a nationwide tradition, the Telegraph wrote an article on it.

In France, don't eat your bread as an appetizer before the meal.

Instead, eat it as an accompaniment to your food or, especially, to the cheese course at the end of the meal. That said, one thing that would be a faux pas anywhere else -- placing bread directly on the table and not on a plate -- is perfectly acceptable in France -- in fact, it's preferred.

Don't eat anything, even fries, with your hands at a meal in Chile.

Manners here are a little more formal than many other South American countries. So while it might be the most practical to just pick up those fries with your fingers, don't do it. "The greater need is to identify with European culture, so food is [eaten] with a knife and a fork," Allen says.

Never mix -- or turn down -- vodka in Russia.

The beverage is always drunk neat -- and no, not even with ice. Adding anything is seen as polluting the drink's purity (unless the mixer is beer, which produces a formidable beverage known as yorsh). But there's another faux pas that's even worse, says Allen: when you're offered the drink and you turn it down. Since offering someone a drink is a sign of trust and friendship, it's a good idea to take it. Even if it is 9am.

When drinking coffee with Bedouins in the Middle East, shake the cup at the end.

Typically, anyone Bedouin -- or Bedouin-related -- will continue to pour you more coffee once you've finished unless you shake the cup, meaning tilting the cup two or three times, when you hand it back. It's such an important tip, says Middle East-based freelance correspondent Haley Sweetland Edwards, that last year, Bedouins she was eating with in Qatar made her practice it until she got it right.

More than half a lifetime ago, at 11:00 p.m. on many Saturday nights, my fellow undergraduate students and I flipped the channels on our dormitory television sets to Saturday Night Live. At the time, given the paucity of other televised diversions—cable did not yet exist—SNL was an easy choice to make. The program was relatively new, always irreverent and boasted a cast of greats, including John Belushi, Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner.

Of all the recurring segments, I counted “Weekend Update with Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin” as among my favorites. Aykroyd and Curtin frequently ended their mock newscast with “Point–Counterpoint,” a spoof on a 60 Minutes segment that showcased the very diverse opinions of print columnists James Kilpatrick and Shana Alexander. Curtin usually spoke first. Once she finished, an assured Aykroyd responded with the declarative, “Jane, you ignorant slut.” It was a statement that evoked laughter across the country.

Last week, when radio broadcaster Rush Limbaugh called a Georgetown University law student a “slut,” no one with a shred of common decency laughed. Some Limbaugh supporters claim the radioman’s behavior should be excused. He is, they maintain, an entertainer, and thus, we should collectively shrug our shoulders at his choice of words. However, Limbaugh posits himself a pitchman for conservative ideas, and as one, we should hold him to a higher standard.

All words have meaning, and no one should understand this better than Rush Limbaugh. Let us neither ignore nor forget what he said last week. Rush is no Dan Aykroyd. His comments cannot be dismissed as humorous banter. The pseudo-broadcaster has demonstrated bad taste and an utter lack of good manners. It’s time for him to go.