My local florist shop has stocked up on long-stem roses and every candy store in my neighborhood is now filled with boxes of red hearts. Inevitably, this week I’ll receive an annual media call inquiring about office romances.

 

Almost always, I advise: Avoid them. Office romances may be risky for everyone involved.  They have been known to give rise to conflicts of interest. They may become a serious distraction at work.  And if/when the romance sours, serious ramifications may accrue.

 

Proof of our optimistic nature is that hardly anyone inquires how best to tackle a break-up. Yet, as with all other situations, some basic rules of good manners apply.

 

If you are initiating a break-up, good manners dictate that you demonstrate compassion. It is your responsibility to tell others about the break-up. To the extent possible, do so in a manner that communicates the decision to break-up was mutual.  Boasting about the decision should be avoided at all costs.

 

Once the break-up is announced, inevitably someone will seek additional information regarding causes, effects, etc. You have no obligation to respond to those inquiries. You may prevent such inquiries by telling others ahead of time that you hope others will respect your privacy and not inquire. If inquiries are still forthcoming, don’t hesitate to state, “We’re not discussing the details of our decision with others.”

 

At all times, keep in mind the positive attributes that first attracted you to the person with whom you are now breaking up. Don’t forget, when you entered into the relationship, you did so with some very good reasons in mind. Stay focused on the other’s attributes rather than on their shortcomings.