Last week, as I ran to and from a program delivery, I managed to sneak in a few glimpses of the health care summit that took place at Blair House in Washington D.C. In the days that followed, I heard several political analysts comment on the meeting. More than a handful remarked on the forms of address that attendees used.

 

In replays of the meeting, I’ve paid particular attention to this detail. Throughout the joint meeting, members of the legislative branch consistently referred to the head of the Executive Branch as “Mr. President.” Yet, when he addressed Members of Congress, President Obama frequently used their first names. Similarly, he addressed the Vice President as “Joe.”

 

I don’t believe for a minute that President Obama intended to communicate any disrespect to his fellow summiteers. However, had he addressed Members of Congress by their titles, including “Senator,” and “Congressman” or “Congresswoman,” the President would have placed himself above reproach. 

 

Members of the media could use a quick refresher course on the appropriate use of titles, too. Media representatives are more likely to be viewed as fair and non-partisan when they consistently use titles, no matter what the elected official’s party affiliation, race, or gender.        

 

Politicians and the media should take note that it appears ordinary Americans may seek a return to respectful political debates. Recently formed CoffeeParty USA has positioned itself as a counterweight to last year’s rambunctious Tea Party movement. 

 

Founder Annabel Park reports that she can barely keep up with requests from people who wish to start their own CoffeeParty chapter. In a recent New York Times article, Ms. Park is quoted as saying, “[W]e’ve got to send a message to people in Washington that you have to learn how to work together, you have to learn how to talk about these issues without acting like you’re in an ultimate fighting session.”

 

Could a return to good manners be far behind?

Recently, I received an inquiry from a law school student who is working with the school’s career services department to bring me in to talk to their students this fall. In preparation for that session, and in hopes of raising awareness, the school plans to conduct a general good manners session this spring.

 

The school has asked me to formulate five hypotheticals for a potential pop quiz, which is intended to encourage student discussion. On the off chance that the students have not yet discovered this blog, following are two hypotheticals that I have proposed:   

 

1. In conjunction with an interview, a job candidate has been invited to lunch. When reviewing the menu, which of the following foods should the job candidate avoid?

 

a. Pasta with red sauce

b. Sushi

c. Steamed lobster

d. All of the above

 

The correct answer is: d., avoiding all three of these proposed food options. Ordering pasta with red sauce is an invitation to disaster for any job candidate who has opted to wear a white shirt or blouse. I find sushi too difficult to eat in neat manner. For whatever reason, I’m rarely successful in eating an entire piece of sushi in one bite. So I’d skip that option, too.  Steamed lobster is likely to be among the most expensive items on the menu, and for that reason alone, I’d avoid it during an interview lunch. Additionally, wait staff often brings a bib for the person who has ordered lobster. That’s one accessory every job candidate—and anyone over the age of two—should avoid wearing.

 

2. In conjunction with an interview, a job candidate has been invited to lunch. After presenting the job candidate and the interviewer with menus, wait staff approaches the table and asks the job candidate for his/her order. The job candidate should:

 

a. Order an entrée only

b. Order an appetizer, entrée, and two glasses of wine

c. Start by ordering an appetizer and entrée; then mirror the number of courses the interviewer orders

d. Order just a bowl of soup

 

The correct answer is: c. The very essence of good manners is ensuring that others feel comfortable.  This includes mirroring other’s behavior when appropriate. I recommend job candidates order a mid-priced appetizer and entrée. If the interviewer skips the appetizer, the job candidate may simply tell wait staff, “I think I’ve changed my mind.  I’ll just have an entrée, too.” During a job interview conducted over lunch, skip all alcoholic beverages, and opt for iced tea, soda, or water.